After we’re born, it’s lights—camera—action. Before we know it, the floods (or droughts) of affection and experiences shape our personas. Mutable and seemingly solid on the surface; yet, fragile as a stubbed toe. We tend to cover ourselves in these layers, on top of layers, on top of more layers; as if our hearts are never warm enough. All while knowing and trying our best to ignore the fact that we’re all vulnerable and naked.
Ignoring what we know to be true. An act of persevered self-ignorance. But if we’re lucky, these layers will peel. Usually from hitting rock-bottom or experiencing genuine intimacy. Rocking us to our core like an existential Big Bang. That’s when our true selves come into frame as we break the fourth wall. Like what the—what’s this? Perhaps, Our pre-adolescent and ironically more blissful selves, knocking at the door—wanting to play. We’re always kids.
We teeter between maintaining the layers of our ego (taking shape in the form of physical labels, statuses, and attributes) and our more vulnerable aspects—our shadows. Casted from wherever we are in life, under an illusory spotlight of whatever character we’ve hired ourselves to emulate. These performative acts don’t necessarily mean we’re living fake lives, it means we’re self-conscious and learned where to improvise to get by. Perhaps, the more layers we have but lack awareness in, the faker (and more confused) we are. It’s on us to own and show—even in glimpses—our true character across these roles. Especially when method acting.
Eventually in life (or not), we meet our pivotal moments. Spotlight beaming. Shadow starkly casted. We grudgingly want to look away but accept that our very survival or potential demands facing it. This revelation shows our life’s adaptation. It’s what makes us special. It makes us…
